


the burden and the blame

by cakecakecake



Series: four unlikely lovers [2]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Adopted Children, Bisexual Male Character, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Character Study, Dysfunctional Family, Found Family, Gen, Hand-wavy Canon, Headcanon, Origin Story, Poly Parents, Polyamory, Qrow-Centric, References to Depression, References to Suicide, Siblings, Team Feels, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 09:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14306184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cakecakecake/pseuds/cakecakecake
Summary: there are some things love can't conquer; misfortune is one of them.





	the burden and the blame

**Author's Note:**

> i spent wayyy too much time on this but i love qrow and i wanted to explore all the headcanons i had for him and strq

_"What's your favorite fairy tale?"_

*

Ben and Mary Lily ask their father on their sixth birthday why they've never celebrated. 

He watches him pat his sister's head and pointedly avoid his woeful eyes, wondering if somehow he already knows the answer. Other children ask them where their mother is and Mary tells them to piss off. She hadn't known that she'd passed during childbirth. Ben took his first breath as she took her last, and their birthday became a dreaded date, etched in dark ink on every calendar. 

Their father will never say it, never wants to put his son through more sorrow than he's already doomed to have, but Ben will come to know, eventually, that a part of him had always blamed him. He would have years of grace before his sister would start blaming him, too.

* 

Mary finds a dog with its leg caught in a trap when they're seven. She tries to snap the wire with scissors, but she isn't quite strong enough. Ben begs her to give it a try and she reluctantly lets him. He manages to set it free, but it runs -- directly into an oncoming car. 

Their father tries without success to comfort them, chalking it up to bad luck. It's no one's fault, he says. Mary never forgives him. 

*

Someone is looking for their father. It seems he knows who, but he doesn't tell his children. He's more distant than usual, won't look his little boy or girl in the eyes. He's coughing a lot; bloodied tissues in every wastebin, loud retching in the middle of every night. They're eight years old when he tells them to pack their things, that they're going to stay with some of his friends -- leaving out the bit about being too sick to care for them anymore.

They make for a secluded village near the western shores of Anima. He tells them about a man named Avian Branwen, a remarkable fighter with a brilliant mind and a gentle heart. He's going to teach them everything he knows. He's going to keep them safe. Their father's goodbye is quick and tearful. Ben will start to wonder if he had ever even made it off the continent before he would die.

* 

There are no other children in this band of nomads, only the twins. No one addresses them by their names, yet everyone is captivated by their wine-red eyes and their feathery dark hair. They are given books to read and weapons to fight. The little girl shows promise -- she has all the makings of a fierce warrior, perhaps even a leader one day -- yet there's something very off about the boy. He's a meek child, tender where his sister is not. He loves to give hugs and laughs easily, but never seems quite wholly happy, as if stormclouds are always hanging over his head. No one really talks of it, but bad things always seem to be happening around him.

It's little things, at first: weapons breaking during sparring sessions, nearby water supplies drying up suddenly, natural accidents and dangerous weather conditions making it impossible for travel. Unfortunate events that can't be attributed to anything except bad circumstances. Avian would wave it off as mere coincidence, but the Elder of the tribe would call him a fool.

"I feel a powerful darkness reaching the clan," he says, forlorn. "And the heart of it lies within the young boy." 

Avian doesn't believe him at first.

* 

The women take Ben and Mary on a hunt for fish one afternoon. One of them falls off the boat and drowns. 

They go berry picking near Shion weeks later. One of them eats a poisonous fruit by mistake and falls dead within hours. 

A clash with a Hunstman costs one of their best his right leg. Avian's retainer contracts a mysterious disease and becomes too ill to fulfill his duties. The one pregnant woman in their lot loses her baby two months before she's due. 

As time trickles by, one by one, their numbers are beginning to dwindle. Elder Branwen blames the boy. Avian just laments their bad luck.

*

The twins are eleven years old when Avian adopts them. A quiet ceremony on the beach is held to celebrate their addition to the Branwen tribe. The girl is given a veil of feathers and the boy is given a ring.

"The people in this tribe are my children," Avian tells them, "and you are my children now, Raven and Qrow." 

They can't keep their birth names. "It's to protect you," Avian would tell them. Raven would ask _from what?_ but no answer would come to her. 

*

Qrow wakes to the smell of smoke. His eyes blink open to see licks of flames burning bright through the slip of his tent. He springs up from his bed in a panic -- his sister's tent is on fire. 

He grabs a knife from the night table and slices through the tarp, coughing, nearly blinded by the smoke. He can hear someone wheezing and hacking between the cracks and breaks in the structures. The Elder is here, snatching the blankets off of the cot, a baffled look on his face once he realizes that it's a drowsy Raven that he's uncovering. When his frantic eyes finally find the boy, he's trapped --

"This isn't -- your tent -- "

With a loud crack, a burning beam of wood falls over his head, crushing him. Raven doesn't scream. Qrow is sure the impact has killed him before he can burn alive. 

Avian and his subordinates douse the flames. Perhaps this is something more than just misfortune.

*

Qrow is twelve years old when he discovers who the Branwens really are.

A peddler falls into one of their traps in a nearby forest. His bag is loaded with ammunition, Dust, and money. He has a bad leg and he's very old, he can't escape. If they let him go, he promises to share some of his goods. Avian gives his children guns and an order: kill him and take all the goods. 

Raven shoots without hesitation and Qrow bursts into tears. 

"Why didn't you shoot?" his sister asks.

Qrow looks woefully up at their father, eyes bleary and pitiful. "He said he would share, we didn't have to kill him!"

"A share doesn't feed the whole tribe," Avian explains patiently, combing the boy's hair. "We must do what it takes to survive." 

"Even if it means killing people?" 

"The weak will die regardless," he says plainly. "The strong will live. He wasn't strong enough, my boy. Think of it as mercy."

Mercy would become synonymous with cruelty as Qrow would try (and fail) to be strong.

*

Avian Branwen tells his son what his semblance is minutes before he dies. He'd gone scavenging for their diminishing tribe and hadn't been back for days -- Qrow finds him barely a mile outside the camp, impaled by a tree root. He begs his father to let him bring their doctor, that he'll be fine, but he can feel in his heart that it's too late. He grasps his father's hands and kisses his knuckles. Avian coughs out a sputter of blood.

"Did you know that crows are a sign of bad luck?" 

He sinks to his knees. 

"An old superstition, but -- it's how you got your name..."

The pool of red beneath him spreads as a flock of blackbirds scream overhead. He holds tight to his father's hands. 

"I'm so sorry -- my sweet son," he apologizes gruffly, eyes drooping. "I'm such a...cruel father."

"No you're not, Papa," Qrow lies, to make him feel better. He knows it won't work, but Avian will humor him, for the moment.

"You already know -- don't you?" he struggles, his breathing erratic as the wound continues to drain him. "The reason the Elder tried to...to..."

He hushes him, cradling his head. (He thinks he knows.) "My semblance..."

"You'll carry that burden," he grouses, his grip weakening, "for the rest of your life. So try to use it -- to your advantage -- "

"Papa," he frets, moving to hold onto him -- his fingers are going limp.

"The Grimm," he heaves, rivets of red trickling down his chin, "They'll be fast approaching -- you need to get a move on -- "

"I can't leave you like this," Qrow tries to argue, but he slaps him. 

"Do it for me," Avian barks at him. "Round them and go -- _now_ \-- "

He does as he's told -- runs as fast as he can back to the camp. He helps everyone pack and watches them go, lets them get a head start up the mountain. He'll follow behind soon enough. It's the last thing he does for his father.

*

Exchanges of kisses and embraces surround them -- fathers and mothers bidding their children goodbye, uncles and aunts and guardians seeing off nieces and nephews. Older siblings holding onto younger siblings just a few moments longer. Well wishes and pleas of call-us-soon and don't-forget-this. Qrow jogs to keep up with Raven, carrying their luggage toward the mile-high doors of Beacon Academy when a young-looking man starts crying nearby. A girl nearly half his height clutches his hands.

"Big bro, please, don't cry!" 

"I'm sorry! It's just -- I'm just worried about you, I just want you to be safe!"

"I'll be fine," she assures him, wiping his cheek with her sleeve. 

"I already miss you," the man croaks, stroking his little sister's hair. Qrow feels his heart sink.

"I love you," she tells him, and he pulls her in for a tight hug.

"I love you, Sis."

Raven calls his name from across the courtyard, sharp and stern. He shuffles after her, a heavy weight settled in his chest.

They are seventeen and Qrow doesn't think his sister has ever told him she loves him.

*

It's Initiation Day in the Emerald Forest, and Qrow locks eyes with the most beautiful person he's ever seen. 

Soft waves of midnight rouge cloaked in white cascade about a slim, toned figure, covered head to toe in petal pink and ruffles. She flutters to the ground from her perch in an oak tree, a quizzical look on her delicate oval face.

"Hi," she mutters with caution, flipping her hood down. 

"Hi," he breathes, dizzied by the softness in her eyes -- they're silver. He'd never seen silver eyes before. He furrows his brow, trying to remember why this trait felt so significant while she stares nervously back at him, uneasy and timid.

"Have you, um -- "

"Seen anyone else?" he finishes for her, inching forward slowly like he's approaching a small animal. (It doesn't help that she's at least a foot shorter than him.) "No -- just you."

"Oh," is all she murmurs, but her smile looks delighted. He extends a hand and she takes it gently.

"Qrow," he introduces himself. "Qrow Branwen. Your partner, it looks like." 

"Nice to meet -- " her breath hitches as she stops herself, jerking her hand back and drawing a rapier from her belt. The nerve-shattering roar of a Creep thunders in his ear, but before he can even duck his head to dodge a swipe of claws, the noise suddenly cuts out like someone pulled the plug on a TV set. The Grimm falls to his feet with a hard thud. 

"How did you -- ?"

"M-My semblance," she starts to explain. She seizes his wrist and raises her other hand and suddenly, everything goes black and white, like they'd plunged into an old-time film. 

Qrow stares, mouth agape, watching as everything in their surroundings just -- freezes. He can't feel the wind or atmosphere, can't hear birds chirping or squirrels tittering -- the leaves are stuck hovering in midair. He touches one and it floats to the ground. "Incredible..."

Her laughter rings through his ears and he swears he hears the gods themselves.

"What's your name, shortstack?" he asks her playfully. She sheathes her weapon and pushes the hair out of her eyes.

"Summer Rose."

His partner for the next four years, and his ghost for the rest of them.

*

Qrow refuses to spend the night in their dorm room. He's terrified of what his semblance could do to his team. Raven tells him he's ridiculous, but it's easy for her to say. He sneaks into empty classrooms, locker rooms, the library -- nobody catches on until Taiyang finds him in the auditorium one night. 

"Qrow?"

He shifts in the seat, lifting the cape shadowing his face. "Taiyang?"

"Are you...sleeping in here?"

"Well, I'm not watching a movie," Qrow chortles. The blonde boy sways on the spot, awkward, letting a few uneasy seconds pass as his teammate watches the nervous gears turn over in his head, debating his next move. He knows that he shouldn't let him stay, but he's finding that his presence is succoring, solacing. Tai will stutter out his next question with a shy scratch to the back of his neck.

"Well, um -- do you mind if I...not-watch-a-movie with you, then?"

Echoes of his sister's protesting voice ring in his head, telling him "don't, don't, don't," but he looks up at Taiyang Xiao-Long's inviting lavender eyes and crooked schoolboy smile and very quickly decides that he's not going to listen to her anymore. He jerks his head toward the seat next to him, and Taiyang slides right up against his side. 

Qrow wraps his cape around his shoulder and they talk. About his difficult sister, about Summer, about Headmaster Ozpin, and what's to come of them as hunters. Tai tells him he likes the thrill of fighting, but he likes being around people even more. He tells him he wants to be a father one day, maybe a teacher. His voice is smooth and bubbly, like a fizzy, fruity daquari. Qrow finds that he likes the sound of it near his ear and lets him lean against him. They fall asleep like that, slumped against each other, and for as much as he fears it, nothing bad happens at any point in the night. 

Taiyang would just wake the next morning with a terrible case of the flu.

*

Qrow is eighteen and Beacon Academy's resident heartthrob. 

His team as a whole is widely admired, enamoured with Taiyang's winsome smile and Raven's engimatic bad-girl allure. Summer's fairylike grace and beguiling timidity earns her more popularity than she so desires on top of already being the leader. But Qrow is something extraordinary, peculiar. His brazen charm and devil-may-care proclivity has the entire student body bewitched, much to his sister's chagrin. The macabre glamour of his uniquely transforming scythe is both fearsome and captivating, earning him nicknames like "reaper" and "harbinger." He likes the sound of the latter so much that he fondly names his weapon after it.

Nothing makes Qrow and his team more infamous than their collective disregard for the rules, though, which earned them their headmaster's acute attention after he'd gone off to rescue a neighboring village from a formidable Grimm attack. STRQ thankfully returns unharmed with a populace of about a hundred civilians in their gratitude, so rather than reprimand them for reckless behavior, Ozpin awards them with the cordial invitation to join his more private endeavors, once they are old enough to engage. Qrow and Summer are the only ones who take him up on this offer. Raven starts questioning where her brother's loyalities lie.

*

Summer loses an eye on their first assigned mission.

A rapid rise of Grimm activity in Forever Fall puts a supporting CCT tower at risk, so Ozpin sends his team of rising stars to defend it. Qrow goes ahead of them, as per usual, fighting at what he judges as a safe distance from the rest of his team -- he never gives himself the luxury of battling side-by-side with his mates, but he's developed his isolation (and his semblance) into an advantage. Raven and Taiyang bicker their way through the thickest knot of trees, tearing down Boarbatusks and Beowulves together faster than they can argue about tactics. With time on her side and the weight of leadership on her shoulders, Summer accustoms herself to keeping an eye on her group, on guard and on the defense, but this time, she lets her heart run away with her head. 

Qrow is only a few hundred feet from the tower when he spots a figure scaling the wall. Plunging himself forward, he launches himself up through the foilage -- Ozpin hadn't mentioned anything about other Hunters out here as the situation had only just become an emergency; it was doubtful this intruder could be an ally. 

Mentally apologizing to his headmaster and to the architects, Qrow knocks through a window, shattering glass across the floor, earning the attention of the masked intruder. Eyes narrowed, he notes their black and burgundy garb, the feather emblem pinned to their chest.

"...Branwen?"

Whomever it was that drew their blade against him, he'd never find out. He'd rather not have known. The pain of pointing swords at family wouldn't come to him until much later. For now, the stranger secures something that looks like a disc in their pocket before blasting themselves forward, daggers drawn.

The gears in Harbinger cycle and shift as it extends into its formidable sycthe form and a flare of pride waves off of his chest as he lunges, meeting the nomad's blade with a loud clang. He fights against them swiftly, letting his eyes wander now and again to ensure that they're alone -- and that the communications hub stays untouched. Whatever's in this Branwen's pocket can't be anything good, so he takes care to steer as far from it as possible. He hears glass from another window shatter and meets with silver eyes. 

"Summer!"

His leader and partner pounces onto the stranger, knocking whatever they'd been holding onto to the floor and Qrow dives to retrieve it. Summer gasps, legs caught in their grasp and Qrow blasts a hole in the grey tiles -- together the three of them fall one or two stories below, landing with the girl pinned under the Branwen. Qrow panics, bile rising in his throat -- he's got to lure them away from Summer, so he breaks the fallen disc with a loud crack. 

Their eyes snap to his. 

"You -- "

Summer wriggles free while they're distracted, knocking them against the brick of the wall as Qrow finally takes a better look at what he's just broken: a compact disc rom, with smudged marker smeared in sloppy lettering across it: SE - CONFIDENTIAL 

Darting forward, Qrow makes to grab her and take off back to the forest, but the Branwen recuperates, charging at her. Rather than turn away from the attack, Summer thrusts her rapier forward, despite her partner's warning cry --

"Summer, don't!"

He makes it maybe one step forward before time is warped. He blinks and the Branwen is gone and Summer is a pool of white and red on the floor. 

By the grace of some higher power, Qrow gets her to Beacon's hospital wing without further catastrophe while Taiyang and Raven secure the tower. Summer undergoes an emergency surgery and it takes Goodwitch, Port, and Ozpin to wrench him from her side. 

He tells them about the ambush, the masked stranger and the cryptic disc, all while Ozpin stares curiously at him over the rim of his mug, his glasses fogged from the steam of its contents. 

"Is that all you have to share with us, Qrow?" 

He does just one more thing to protect a family that's done almost nothing for him -- he lies, one last time. "Yes, sir, that's it."

The headmaster gives him an inscrutable once-over before bidding him goodnight. 

"It's not your fault," Summer will tell him a week later, squeezing his hand.

She means it. With every inch of her snow-white soul, she means it, but of course it isn't true.

"When did your heart get so gentle?" Raven would mock him, later in the cafeteria. 

"I don't have a heart," he argues with little conviction.

*

"You know I hate surprises."

"You'll like this one." 

A weight is settled into his hands -- velvety and small, a box. Summer tells him to open his eyes.

"You proposing to me?" he teases her, taking delight in how quickly her cheeks redden.

"No, you jerk, just open it."

It's not a ring, but jewelry nonetheless -- a silver chain with a delicate cross pendant attached. Qrow breathes out a low whistle, dangling it in front of his eyes. 

"It's beautiful," he says, an unfamiliar stinging in the pit of his chest. 

"There's an old folks' tale," Summer starts, edging closer to him at the foot of his bed, "about how wearing a tilted cross can ward off bad luck. I'm not really sure how true it is, but..."

"You just like guys who wear jewelry," he prods at her, elbowing her ribs and she slaps his knee. 

"Stop it!" But she laughs. She laughs so much when they're together. "I know it's cheesy, but...I don't know, I had a feeling it might..." 

His smile falters as they lock eyes. They both know nothing can be done about his semblance, but. He wraps an arm about her shoulder and she rests her head in the crook of his neck.

*

Qrow and Raven are twenty-one when the headmaster asks them what their favorite fairy tale is. The only one they both liked is the story of the messenger birds, sibling birds who traveled across time and space to deliver information to their god. In his last attempt to get Raven to trust him, he gives both her and her brother a gift: something that will allow them both to see things they couldn't normally. He makes their beloved story a reality.

Raven uses her newfound power to revisit the tribe. Their clan brother tells them how difficult it's been without Avian, without them. They're being followed, watched. Hunted. All Raven wants is to go back and help them.

Qrow decides he's not going back. He doesn't want to hurt people anymore, doesn't want success at the expense of others' lives. He wants to do something good.

"Good for who?" Raven would ask him. She doesn't deserve an answer, so Qrow won't give her one. 

He won't get one either when graduation comes and she goes. Ozpin asks him the night of the ceremony if he remembers the ending to that story. 

"One of the birds never returned."

*

After months of radio silence, his sister shows up in a cliffside inn and tells him she's pregnant. A night in Forever Fall with Summer and Taiyang got out of hand, she explains in distress. It was a mistake and she got carried away, caught on the hinge of her fleeting desire. She doesn't want this, never wanted to get this involved. But for as much as she says she hates them and him, Qrow knows that she hates herself more, so he claws back to the edges of the iron walls around her heart and bleeds out his own. She's done little to earn it, but he loves his sister. He won't turn his back on family. (Real family.)

He whispers her name fondly, rubbing at her knuckles. "Leave this place, come home with me." 

"Qrow..."

"To hell with the tribe, what have they done for you?" he says, embittered. "Let us be there for you. Let _me_ be there for you."

Her eyes screw shut as streams of tears streak down her pale face. "I can't just -- after all this, I can't just -- "

"They miss you," Qrow tells her, honest from the bottom of his heart. "Tai and Summer -- they miss you and they love you so much, they always have. Raven..."

"It's not going to work. You know it won't," she tries to fight him, but he won't let her.

"You don't know that. You haven't tried." He begs her. "Please, we can do this -- we can have a family -- "

"We _do_ have a family -- "

"This kid doesn't!" he bites back, but mellows out again. "But we could give them one. We could get a fresh start, Sis, please..."

"Qrow..."

"You love them," he says, watching her eyes darken. "You won't say it, but I know you do -- at least a part of you does. I just want you to give that part a chance." 

She does. She does give it a chance -- and then she leaves. Again.

*

Qrow is twenty-two and he's pretty sure he's an alcoholic. 

He can't find his sister. Even if he could he's sure he can't get her to come home. Home is becoming a luxury he can no longer afford. Taiyang has a beautiful little daughter and he's a liability. Ozpin is the only person he sees much of these days -- him and whatever bartender. He thinks of his sister's semblance and he resents her. She doesn't have to stay away, but she chooses to. He has to, even though the only thing he craves is to be close. He tells himself he hates Raven to make it easier (it doesn't).

The only thing he hates about her is the fact that he can't stop loving her.

*

"I love you."

It's only for a moment that Qrow forgets how his lungs function. Summer stands before him in the open doorway of the motel, cloaked in frosted ivory, wind whipping through her rouge curls. Her one eye is bloodshot and her face is pink and damp. He leans against the frame and coughs out a weak laugh.

"Well, that's unfortunate."

She invites herself inside, slamming the door shut behind her as the rain keeps pouring. The gust of air slides her hood off. She pouts at him, fuming, and he has to refrain from laughing some more. (She looks too cute when she's mad.) 

"You did hear me, right?" 

"Loud and clear," he affirms, pouring himself drink number four (or five). "You want some?"

"I might, depending on how you're going to respond to this," Summer tells him, drawing up a seat at the table. 

"I did respond," he says, avoiding her eyes. "I said 'that's unfortunate.' So you want a drink, or -- ?"

"I'm being serious, you dolt!" 

"Yeah, and so am I," he shrugs, his cool tone belying his heart. "I don't know what you were expecting."

"Not this!" 

"What, honesty?" 

Summer snatches the bottle of rum and pours herself a glass, cheeks burning red -- she's pissed. 

"Honesty would be you telling me you love me too, because you and I both know it's true."

His eyes rake over her face, memorizing the lines around her mouth, the dimples in her cheeks. "Of course it's true."

"Then why won't you say it?" she asks dolefully. He feels a familiar pang in his chest.

"Because the more I say it, the more it hurts."

"It doesn't _have_ to hurt -- "

"It does, and it will," he says matter-of-factly. "You know why we can't do this, Petal..."

Summer can't counter, she knows. She's always known. It's the same argument they've recycled time and again, every time he finds ways to prolong the weeks away. He has to maintain his distance. There are some things love can't conquer. Misfortune is one of them. 

*

"I'm pregnant."

He's sure he feels the glass slip from his grasp, but then he blinks, and it's safely on the counter. Summer dissolves into anxious laughter, rushing to hold him as the air empties from his lungs.

"I'm sorry! Oh, shit, I'm so sorry, Bird -- "

"Fucking hell, Summer -- "

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she almost cries, holding his head to her chest. He clings to her for balance before he falls off the stool.

"Gods, Petal -- what the hell did you just say?" he can hardly remember how to breathe. She stops laughing.

"I'm pregnant," she says again, hollowly, like she can hardly believe the news herself. Qrow peels himself way to search her eye, his brows creasing.

"Is it...it's not mine, is it...?"

Summer's face crumbles as she softly starts to cry. She shakes her head vigorously, digging her nails in his shoulders. He feels the wind knock back into him, a morbid relief washing over his head as it starts spinning. He's glad; of course he is -- as fucked up as it seems, he should be, all of them should be. Especially her. But.

"Is it bad that I wish it were?" Her question barely grazes the shell of his ear.

His heart wrenches as he makes to stand. He pulls her against his chest, her cheek pressed against his heavy heartbeat. It's better this way. It's true, but he won't say it. His hand winds in her hair and he realizes how long it's been getting -- one of so many changes, little and big. Changes that he's missed, and will miss. Has to. 

Because it's better this way.

"You don't want the burden of my name."

*

They don't want to marry, Summer and Taiyang. It's not that they don't love each other -- they do, immensely -- they just love him too, and refuse to leave him out. Three people can't marry and it isn't fair. Qrow insists that they should, that he won't take it personally. Maybe if he keeps saying that it's fine it really will be fine, but they see right through him. They don't want to do it. It's the smart thing to do, he'd argue, and they both know he's right. With two little girls and a house, it would be smart to have legal protection. So they run to the courthouse in Vale two months before Summer's due. Qrow keeps finding more excuses to drink.

*

Qrow isn't there for the birth. After Patch's only hospital nearly leveled from the blazing fire when Yang was born, he refused to be present for it, even after Tai threatened to kill him if he didn't come. Summer didn't hold it against him, of course, just told him to come to the house when he needed a break from scavenging information and eviscerating Grimm. His goddaughter is three weeks old when he finally gets the chance to meet her.

Taiyang greets him with a punch in the ribs and a kiss on the cheek, scolding him for staying away so long. He profusely apologizes to him and to little Yang, scooping her up and ruffing her hair and swinging her in circles. He sends her off with candy he'd brought back from Vale and kisses Tai more ardently in the kitchen before asking to see Summer. 

"Up in the bedroom," he tells him, squeezing around his waist and kissing his brow. Qrow's hands shake on the railing and around the doorknob, hearing her husky voice ringing through the walls. 

" -- oh Lord, oh Lord, what have I done? I've fallen in love with a man on the run, oh Lord, oh Lord, I'm begging you please, don't take that sinner from me, no, don't take that sinner from me..."

Veiled in white by the curtains and her blankets, Summer rocks in the chair with her daughter by the open window.

" -- oh Lord, oh Lord, what do I do? I've fallen for someone who's nothing like you, he's raised on the edge of the devil's backbone, and I just wanna take him home, oh, I just wanna take him home..."

"Hey," Qrow interrupts her, barely loud enough to earn her wide-eyed stare. The chair creaks to a halt as she takes in his presence, beaming at him. 

"You came," she breathes. He strides up to her, smoothing hair across her forehead. 

"I missed you," he rasps, eyeing the rolls of blankets in her arms. "How is she?" 

"Beautiful, like her family," Summer tells him proudly. "Do you want to hold her, Bird?"

He frets, stuttering as the baby yawns and titters. Of course he wants to, but he shouldn't -- he barely holds Yang now, let alone a newborn. But Summer touches his arm and the room is painted monochrome, a frozen shade in time as she passes the tiny bundle to him. Little Ruby Rose blinks up at him with her shining silver eyes, stretching and curling her impossibly tiny fingers. Qrow's breath shudders as he smiles down at her and a soft coo spurts from her mouth. Surmmer grins under her tears. 

"Oh, Qrow," she strains, "she loves you already."

He pokes the baby's middle and she grasps his finger and Qrow feels lucky for maybe the third time in his entire life. "Good, because I already love her too."

*

Qrow is twenty-nine when he considers jumping off a cliff without spreading his wings. 

A year has passed so quickly. Time goes by so fast when you're drunk, but a fifty-foot drop would be faster. He toes the rocky edge, watching pebbles crumble downward. The waves below crash and swallow boulders. He can't remember ever wanting to die this badly.

He thinks of Oz, of Taiyang and the girls, and he backs away from the cliffside, wind blustering through his hair. Funny, he thinks, how the only things stopping him are the very things that would be better off without him. His reasons to live are the same reasons he should end it. They'd be safer that way. He tries to explain that to a wailing Taiyang, who wanders outside at the best and worst time.

"The only way you're leaving this world is if I take you out of it with my own hands," Taiyang threatens him, maliciously lovingly, laughing through sobs. Qrow laughs with him, miserably, limp in the blonde's suffocating embrace. "How could you? How could you even think about doing that?"

"Because I hate myself," he says deadpan, a hint of a smirk. Taiyang smacks him upside the head.

"You gotta come up with better reasons, Birdbrain."

"Alright, I got a good one for ya," he starts, the irony gone from his voice, "I don't wanna be the reason you die, Tai."

"I don't think it'd be such a bad way to go," he quips back, cupping his chin, brushing over his stubble.

"You love me too much."

"I certainly love you more than you hate yourself."

"How poetic. I don't deserve you."

"It's not about 'deserve,' Qrow," he says firmly, seriously. "You think I deserved two beautiful little girls? To have fallen in love with three incredible people?"

"Two of whom are gone and you're stuck with the breathing bad luck charm?" he chortles. "No, you don't deserve that, Tai -- "

"What I _really_ don't deserve is you leaving me too," he tells him ardently, wrapping his arms around his neck. "Please, Qrow..."

He sinks his nails into his shoulders, breathing in the scent of the posies and tomatoes and dirt from the garden. Taiyang was always his earth, his gravity, what kept his feet on the ground. What he'd give to be another flower in his garden, rooted and safe and drinking in his water. Instead he's a bird with his sky torn down. His voice quivers in his ear as he combs through Tai's golden hair.

"We didn't even have a fucking body to bury."

"It wasn't your fault," Tai insists, just above a whisper. (His biggest fear was always that he blamed him, too.)

"It's always my fault."

For the first time in years, Qrow cries. 

*

"My name's Winter."

He chortles. Of course it is. Those Schnees and their theme-naming. She's as glacial as she is beautiful and something in her piercing stare reminds him of the ghost he can't let go of. He buys her another bottle of wine and slips her away from James and gives her the fuck of her life, whispering all the spell-binding licentious drivel it takes to make her cum in a hazy fog of passion. 

He never calls her back. They ruin Beacon's courtyard half a year later.

*

"Uncle Qrow! Did you miss me?"

The dull ache of the most recent slash across his back throbs as he looks in Ruby's doe eyes. He thinks of the claws raking across his shoulder blades, of the pool of blood at his feet. Of the roars of the Beowulves and the Creeps and his weight collapsing against concrete with only the light of the broken moon to see his own two hands in front of him. Of his fingers brushing over the marred photograph of the girls he's always carried with him, the image of them smiling giving him all the reason he needs to get back up. He snorts softly, bopping her on the nose. 

"Nope."

* 

Ruby runs off to Haven and of course Taiyang blames him. He actually deserves it this time, but he'll still argue with Tai despite. The older he gets, the cuter he looks when he's mad. Qrow empties a bottle of gin and waves him off after he gets most of the yelling out of his system.

"It doesn't matter what I said, she would've gone off anyway," he drones on, draping his legs over the couch. "She's stubborn -- takes after her mother."

"She takes after _you_ ," Tai corrects him, bitterly, "and that's what worries me!"

"She's not a baby, Tai," he counters, lost in the contents of his freshly poured glass until Taiyang slams a fist on the table. 

"She's my daughter -- "

" _Our_ daughter," Qrow barks back, eyes ablaze, and he falls silent, taking a beat. "And if she takes after me as much as you think, then she's gonna be fine. I'll make sure of it."

Taiyang lowers his voice, finally. "You're going after her?" 

"Yeah," he nods. "I'll tail them, in the shadows. Make sure the kids are safe."

The blonde moves from the armchair to the spot next to him on the couch, his brow creased, fretting as his big hands smooth over Qrow's leg. Tai's touch is searing, burning in the pit of his chest. "I'll go with you."

"Yang needs you," he tells him, sitting up. Inching his face closer to his. 

"And _I_ need _you_ , don't you ever think about that?" Qrow chews his lip. He sounds twenty years younger, pouting mouth parted in a plea. "Please, just...don't leave me again. Stay."

Qrow brushes his sunkissed hair behind his ear, a few strands catching in his rings. "I would that I could, Sunshine."

*

"Running away was one thing, but this? You've crossed a line."

"Sorry, Brother. Sometimes family disappoints you like that," she apologizes satirically, irony flowing off her tongue like molasses. He grimaces, her perfidy chiseling away at the remains of his heart.

"We're not family anymore," he strains to say, wishing with all his might that he could mean it. 

"Were we ever?" It's a rhetorical question. He knows she doesn't really care to hear his answer, but he can't hide how hurt he is.

"I thought so. But I guess I was wrong."

They fight again, the rest of the room and the real objective fading around them. He wants to believe she actually wants him dead, but he won't let himself. That would mean something he's not willing to admit -- that she doesn't care, never did. He lies to himself again. He lets her go, hoping this will be the last time his sister breaks his heart.

(It won't be.)

*

_Thus kindly, I scatter_

Qrow pours the contents of his flask out in front of her grave. He doesn't know the next time he'll be able to visit it, not that it matters much. She doesn't rest here. (He doesn't know if she rests at all.)

"Walk with me, Petal," he prays, and takes flight yet again.

**Author's Note:**

> \- i like to think of strq as a four temperament ensemble, with summer as phlegmatic, taiyang as sanguine, raven as choleric, and qrow as melancholic.
> 
> \- summer's semblance was time-stop/time freeze -- think of how homura akemi's magic worked 
> 
> \- "it's how i got my name" -- for qrow to have such a significant name pointedly referencing his semblance couldn't have been decided at birth. i'm whole-heartedly convinced they were renamed by the tribe, branwen has to be a clan name
> 
> \- it's not that i don't think raven never loved taiyang or the rest of her team, but i do think she never let herself love them, because vulnerability and emotional labor is too detrimental to self-preservation. i think she was very accustom to detachment and doesn't know what to do when someone wants to be attached to her.


End file.
